Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Are You A Sri Lankan?? Check List!!


1) You use banana leaves instead of plates, to eat rice and curry

2) Your parents mark any special occasion by boiling milk until it spills all over your stove..

3) You get it on to baila music.

4) You know Buddhist chants, Hindu chants and the Islamic call to prayer..by heart

5) Your idea of a bathing suit is a conspicuous see-thru sarong around your chest.

6) You find apples and oranges to be precious commodities while durian and rambutang are part of your daily diet.

7) You refer to friends by calling them `Machan` instead of `dude`

8) You have encountered been pursued or bitten by a snake.

9) Catching malaria is like catching a cold.

10) You learned how to spell your last name by singing it to the tune of the ABC song

11) You haggle at the dollar store cuz` you know that chocolate bar just cost you a 100 rupees.

12) You eat string hoppers ,coconut milk and a three- course curry meal for breakfast

13) When Arrack is better then any French champagne

14) You have mastered the art of squatting

15) You use Siddahelpe, gripe water and Panadol to solve your medical problems

16) You rock a pimped out three whealer when you drive down main street to check out the hoes.

17) You ride an elephant to school.8 )

18) You tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.

19) You have a Singer sewing machine at home.

20) You call an older person you`ve never met before uncle or `aunty`

21) Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

22) .EVERYONE is a family friend.

23) You went to a university as far away from home as possible and you still came back home to live with your parents after you finish.

24) You use Kist or Maggi chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.

25) You parents always say `on the light` instead of `turn the light on

26) When `Aney`.. or `Aiiyooo` or `Alllaaahhh` is a standard word in everyday conversation

27) You`re walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.

28) You go back to your parents` country and people treat you like a member of the royal family

29) You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go

30) Your parents drink 3 cups of tea a day

31) When the car allows 7 people yet you seem to fit 20 in there!!

32) .Your parents compare you to all of their friends` kids.

33) .When cursing the Government is the highlight of every dinner conversation

34) No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.

35) Your parents worry what other people will think if you`re not going to be a doctor/engineer.

36) Your parents worry what other people will think when your seen out in public with boys or if your `carrying on with someone`

37) .Your parents worry what other people will say about you having a girlfriend/boyfriend or better yet `an affair`

38) .At a function or party your parents say that their leaving, but often take another hour saying goodbye at the door.

39) You find overlapping last names in the display area for this Groups` members. (if you dont see this, refresh your page. it`ll happen eventually)

40) . When u tell people that you are from Sri Lanka and they say `oh the country that got hit by the tsunami` (apparently the tsunami finally put us on the map!)

41) Whenever something sad happens to anyone or any animal for that matter you automatically say `aney pouuuuuu...`

42) When your parents talk shit about your American friends in Sinhalese/Tamil while standing right next to them

43) When something gross happens or talking about anything thats disgusting,bad,etc. you say `Chi Chi Chi...`.

44) When you see guys in Nugegoda walkin comfortably on the street holding hands and wearing flourescent shirts and yellow BATA slip-ons..And hey! no one looks at them twice!!

45) When u see middle aged guys with the dogiest mustaches and a head full of puffy toupee-like hair.

46) You drink tea after every occasion

47) You walk in to a Sri Lankan party with one pair of shoes and walk out with different pairs that don`t even match.

48) You salt and pepper your mangoes, and every other fruit you eat

49) You have a Sri Lankan driving license which does not have a date of birth printed on it!

50) When you tell people you`re NOT from India, and that you`re from Sri Lanka, they say `ohh okay,` but really, they think its all the same thing.

51) You look for that plastic bowl after taking a dump...cuz` wiping it is just not good enough!

52) You go to a restaurant and ask for Fanta, Portello or a chocolate SMAK instead of a Pepsi

53) When on your 18th birthday, you find out that you are pre- arranged to marry a person that you have never seen or heard-of before.

54) When your 17-year old third-cousin`s wedding reception is bigger and more grand then the Kandy Perahara.

55) When the differences in skin complexion within your family can only be compared to a color wheel.

56) Your parents smuggle tea, juggery and every possible spice into the country when they return home from a visit to Sri Lanka. At the customs office, they would check off `NO` for the question regarding `food, exotic plants, hazardous chemicals or firearms`.

57) Your parents leave folded plastic bags from expensive stores under their mattress so that they can be reused to make ghetto presents look really expensive.

58) Your Parents aren`t afraid to chase you down the street and slap you if you talk back...

59) You cover tv remotes with plastic wrap to the point where u cant even see the buttons

60) You often went to school looking like a brown mime because your mom smothered your face with talcum powder.

61) When you were a child, your parents randomly dressed you up for the sole purpose of taking pictures.

62) You see middle aged Sri Lankan women on the bus with frizzy hair, magenta lipstick and faces that have been liberally smothered with `Fair and Lovely`.

63) You grew up on Marmite and Glucose powder...and often faked a stomach ache so that you could drink Gripe water.

64) You know that Cheetos aint got nothin` on Tipi Tips..

65) Your parents describe every foreign exotic place in the world as either `down-south` or `up-country`

66) When you visit your Sri Lankan aunties, they always serve you a plate of lemon puffs and Tang before anything else.

67) When in Sri Lanka, you find 9 wedding halls on one street while a library is often non-existant.

68) Your Parents` idea of a day off is sitting through loooooooong sermons in temples, churches or mosques

69) When you`d `tap that Toddy` just to get that nice taste.

70) When every Lankan girl that you meet is the daughter of the auntie whose grandfather is the cousin of the father of your uncle who is the brother of your dad!

71) When your parents INSIST on carrying an emergency stash of mosquito coils in their first aid kit!

72) When you`ve had chili smothered in your mouth because you talked back to your parents. : @

73) When to your parents

a) Scotch tape is `sello tape`,
b) Washing Powder is `Rinso`
c) toothpaste is `signal`
d) soap is `lux or rexona`
e) MSG`s are `Aji-no-moto`
f) and binoculars are `binaCLOSE`
g) any cellphone is reffered to as `Cell Tell

74)When you know that `NO` actually means `YES` in Sri Lankan English...NO?

75)When you know that there are people in Sri Lanka who could probably out-bobble a bobble-head!

76)If you think Sigiriya Rock should be the eighth wonder of the world.

77)When you know the words to the very annoying `Surangani` and `Ojaye, Ojaye` songs...(NOTE: and now that you have been reminded, these songs automatically start playing in your head)

78)You know exactly what your mother means when she holds up a bata slipper and says ` I shall give you one, nicely`...

79)When your parents say you can be anything in life...but really mean you either have the choice of being an engineer, doctor, lawyer or marrying somebody who is an engineer, doctor or lawyer.

80) When despite the fact that you have eaten a full three course meal prior to visiting your `auntie`, refusing to eat another three course meal in the same evening may result in dire consequences.

81) You often see trucks or three wheelers with either people`s names or things like like `Sudhu Kella` or `Sinna Kutti` plastered on the back.

82) You get invited to dinner at an `uncles` house for 7:00pm You get there at 8:30 and dinner is served at 11:58 pm The arrack induced fathers start singing at 1:00 am while the mothers start making idle chit chat about the `old days in Sri Lanka`...By 3:00am your `auntie` forces you to drink coffee so that you can get a good nights sleep when you get home at 6:00 AM.

83) When you`ve spend at least one afternoon wrapping your school textbooks with `brown paper` so that they don`t get damaged!

84) When you walk into a crowded room and EVERYONE looks up and just STARES at you for no apparent reason. Along with head bobbing, it is a custom to stare!!!!!!

85) When you know that Odel`s is the best place to do an entire decade worth of shopping!

86) When a game of carrom is used to settle minor disputes.

87) When you know that Thambili is not only a fruit, but a color, a cure for diarrhea and a way to solve hangover-related issues!

88) When you see aunties/uncles you haven`t seen in a long time they give you the Sri Lankan `sniff kiss` where by:
a.They bring their cheek up to your cheek
b. The sniff
c. Switch cheeks and repeat.

89) When your version of cookies and milk equals to`Marie biscuits` and Pure Ceylon Tea.

90) When your mother doesn`t want you going outside at noon because she thinks `you`ll get dark`




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